Your key won't work because I live here!

Perfect Retirement Housing Complex

Inner Hamlet

CORSETTSHIRE  QY4 2PN

My Dear Ralph

Well events gallop on pet!  Since I wrote, this Cat Woman inmate has displayed a poster behind the glass panel of her door, which says 'Your key won't work because I live here . . .'  Much mystification, but this appears to allude to a suspicion on her part that person or persons unknown have been attempting illicit entry to her flat.  She has refused to speak to me since the tins of salmon incident!

The situation worsened this morning with the appearance of a large, laminated, poster on the lift doors, 'Watch out!  There's a thief about!'  Tripping along to Pom-Pom's this morning, I stopped to examine the offending item and noticed that it was a poster prepared by Our Leader subsequent to the burglary incident some while ago.  I don't know whether I told you about this dear but, after some inmates' experience of burglars traipsing through their rooms in the middle of the night, security lighting was installed on the building's rear walls.  And now, the poster drawn up to alert inmates to the possible ingress of thieves, has materialized up here!

The atmosphere in the corridors, this morning, has been one of suspicion and general menace.  The Dillies (occupying three flats on this floor) are all convinced that some fleet-of-foot individual is running around at night, ringing doorbells, and generally activating the building's movement-sensitive lighting.  Am I fleet of foot pet?  I think I might be more than most!

Yours

Aunt Agatha