Electric exercise horse . . ..

The Perfect Retirement Housing Complex

Inner Hamlet

CORSETTSHIRE  QY4 2PN

My Dear Ralph

Having bemoaned the absence of interesting happenings to you in my last missive, I now have one or two events to relate!  This morning, Pom-Pom and I discerned the sound of loud sobbing from outside in the hallway.  Reluctantly, and with some trepidation, we decided to investigate.  It was Child, from the premises opposite, clad only partly in a T-shirt and pair of knickers - who was being supported by a rather discomfited-looking male inmate.  (Not that Pom-Pom can talk here, as he was outfitted in a pair of old-fashioned swimming trunks owing to the heat!)  It transpired that the ingress of the electricians to instal a new fuse box - when she is in a chronically frail state of mind - had pushed her over the edge.  (As you will recall, this is the lady who was apparently raped at knife point by a bouncer, and who has been limping about with her arm in a plaster cast.)  Anyway, the supportive male inmate pleaded with me to go off and get Our Leader and I ran off to do so. Our Leader did not look very thrilled when I related these events and said, 'What.  Again!  I think I'm going to need the emergency sedatives!'

It is rather awkward in these cases dear; somehow one wants to be kind and offer up company and assistance but, if one does, it can lead (as I know to my cost) to endless doorbell ringing.  Luckily, Pom-Pom is so generally averse to company of any kind that I wasn't thrown into too much of a dilemma.

Speaking of the dear old fellow, my feelings of anxiety regarding his health and general well-being are growing.  Not only is he sometimes rendered desperate by loneliness - with only a view of trees waving in the breeze from his domain - he is also becoming barely able to walk.  And there is nothing to be done, for he refuses to be sent off on any 'old codgers' luncheon and there is nowhere more generally loving for him to go during the day.  Sometimes he does accompany me down the corridor on my way to the lift.  I limit my stride and he advances, by painful centimeters, hands gripping the bars of his walker.  We always stop by the lift doors, before I go down the stairs, and he says - every time - 'Goodbye darling,' like I count as someone who matters.  Well, he is an upright man in my eyes: compassionate towards animals (and me), interesting, decent and unique.  And I lean towards him, kissing his papery cheek and hugging his bones.
On  a lighter note dear (forgive the outpouring) Docker is thrilled by the arrival of her new electric exercise horse.  I don't know where she is going to put this item, because there
is very little room in these premises, as you know.  I did suggest that she instal some ceiling pulleys and winch it up to the ceiling at bedtime, but she started to look so narked that I decided to desist (one doesn't want to get on the wrong side of Docker)!  Apparently though, this beast emits a powerful electronic 'neigh' and one can do ten kilometers per minute at the gallop!  And I do believe it comes with whip and spur accessories - not to mention a substantial saddle!
Yours
Aunt Agatha