Monday, 25 June 2012

Assault course at Nether Hoppit . . .

Perfect Retirement Housng Complex
Inner Hamlet

My Dear Ralph
A rather sodden day has dawned here at the Perfect Retirement Housing Complex pet.  Thus far, I have only peeked out of the front windows to ascertain the status of the Banger 0.9L, and it is in its place, bonnet shining beneath a fine patina of night-time rain.
Yesterday's Tree course was, I must say, characterized by the advent of two singularly unprepared, and not all-that-knowledgeable, teaching staff.  The phrase 'cowboy operation' comes unhesitatingly to mind.  We were informed, upon arrival, that we were required to trek to the campus outskirts to perform a woodland survey.  I do rather feel that it would have helped to have been given the dimensions of this plot before we set out and also some basic instructions on a procedure to follow once we got there - because one can otherwise tend to lope about, on the loose, in the total absence of such requisites.  But what really made me cross dear, was that we were despatched down the sides of what appeared to be a ravine, without so much as a body count being done or any sightings of a first aid box.  There were innumerable trip hazards to be negotiated on our descent and, at the bottom, a cold and fast-flowing rural river.  I'm afraid I rapidly lost sight of the rest of our party during the course of stumbling over any number of rotting logs and, in the absence of any kind of information regarding the time of our re-ascent, had to be summoned by what seemed to be a 'View Halloo' echoing in the distance!  It is lucky I am not deaf pet!  Anything could have happened and I am not absolutely sure that - had I been sucked into a woodland bog and totally vanished from the scene - the 'leaders' of the expedition would even have noticed!
Luckily, the weekend was characterized by activities of a slightly more controlled nature.  Invited out for a drive by the diminutive - and yet muscular - Pumpkin (discovered some weeks ago, sweeping the steps at the local museum)
we found ourselves jaunting past the Assault Course out at Nether Hoppit.  Unravelling ourselves from Pumpkin's miniature motor, we sallied forth to investigate the equipment on display - which was FREE to the actual public, en passant in their conveyances, to leap on!  Well it took us less than a mini-second, eyeballs somewhat extended on stalks, to decide that we couldn't skip this opportunity to try out the timber-framed-and-blue-netted Climbing frame, the Aerial Runway and the Tunnel!  You know pet, I had no idea such challenging pursuits were on offer at rural outposts.  The wooden ladders and blue netting rippled skywards to quite some height I can tell you, and I was a little unnerved when I snagged one high heel in a loop.  And even more unnerved when I detected Pumpkin snapping away on his camera - directly beneath Yours Truly.  I think I was attired in my blue lace knicker set that morning dear and God only knows how this lingerie will be displayed on-screen - and worse - on Headbook if Pumpkin gets his way!
The Aerial Runway was huge fun however, and it was with quite some whoops of pleasure that we sailed  back and forth across the valley and above the pine trees.  If you like pet, we can visit this facility when you are next in the vicinity!
Aunt Agatha

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