Friday, 8 June 2012

Operations involving 'deep cover' . . .

Perfect Retirement Housing Complex
Inner Hamlet

My Dear Ralph
I am pleased to hear that you are walking everywhere nowadays pet - given the enquiry penned in my last missive!
Many thanks for all your news.  I hope things develop with Miranda who, if she was attending a 'Defend the Rainforest' cheese and wine session, must surely have her heart in the right place.  Don't be deterred by the age and quantity of her offspring, as I can assure you that you will soon become accustomed to wiping eggy detritus from their bibs and to scraping effluent from their nappies!  I hope said nappies are recyclable in Miranda's household pet? 
Meanwhile, the long-term fracture across my toilet seat has also been a trifle aggravating, catching - as it does - the flesh of my shapely thing in it, whenever I am attempting to use the apparatus.  I must say that, when I was an operative, there was always a useful minion to call upon for any manual tasks!  (Not, of course, when I was engaged in operations involving 'deep cover.'  I was then required to fix matters myself.)  Pom-Pom is unfortunately otherwise engaged when I am attending to these issues; he always seems to be watching Coronation Street or to have his head buried in Horseracing Weekly.  (Sometimes a background of constant chortling can get on one's wick!)
Anyway pet, I hope you will soon be happily ensconced in your new parenting role.  Remember to keep any intimate activities very quiet, as the kiddies will doubtless be applying an inverted glass to an adjacent bedroom wall!
Aunt Agatha

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