Our Secret Intelligence Service . . .

Perfect Retirement Housing Complex

Inner Hamlet

CORSETTSHIRE  QY4 2PN

My Dear Ralph

I am not sure, dear, whether or not you are reading my epistles on the bus?  If you are, please can you make sure that no-one seated behind you is making use of a tie-fitted micro-surveillance camera?  Pom-Pom and I have noted, of late, one or two suspicious-looking sedans sloping around the car park here at Perfect: bullet silver in colour, fitted with darkened glass, and containing one or two dour-faced individuals clad in wrap-around sun shields.  Of course, I could immediately identify said vehicles as hailing from the pool of vehicles run by our Secret Intelligence Service (the regulation issue number plates commence with BJ482 and - so far this week -  this plate has cropped up no less than five times on five different automobiles)!  Has word of my memoirs leaked beyond these walls I wonder?

Pom-Pom and I had our noses resting on the window ledge of Pom-Pom's domain for quite some time in order to observe any goings-on and, sure enough, Our Leader did eventually approach one vehicle with an enquiry regarding the identity of its occupants.  Sticky Beak later regaled us - through the keyhole - with the tale that they were touting for business for the Alternative Wallpaper Company!  In fact, later on in the same day, we saw several of our more intrepid inmates queuing to ask for actual advice!  We, ourselves, have decided to blend into the Perfect paintwork for quite some spell - and have astounded the Management with our unwonted zeal for Bingo and an unprecedented desire to be Jumble Sale monitors . . .

Yours

Aunt Agatha

P.S.  Of course, in my day, we only had recourse to the Micro Dot style of surveillance device.  And what a pest it was trying to safely secrete said 'dot' into a boucle button on one's jacket!