Saturday, 5 May 2012

Secret Service: EPISODE 10

The Perfect Retirement Complex
Inner Hamlet

My Dear Ralph

What a day I've had pet!  After it took seven attempts this morning to turn the car immobilizer light off with my key fob, I thought I'd better whiz off to Swish Motor Company to get a new one coded up.   Of course, I drive the most frightful old heap and, looking around me at Swish, I must say it came home to me how far down I had sunk in the general pecking order of Life!  Not to mention my 'struck by lightning' hairdo and the 'dressed by Oxfam' clothing ensemble!  Anyway, after a bit of a debate on whether they had any remote key fobs in stock, they finally said they could proceed if I would like to wait.  The waiting room was quite delightful, with a fine view over their magnificent forecourt, and I settled down to read sundry articles from the glossies left for our perusal.  I must say that titles such as, 'How to Make a Success of Your Life' left one a bit despondent - particularly at the age of 62 - but, all in all, I felt 'success' to be practically rubbing off on me from the various suit-wearers all waiting for the work on their vehicle to be completed.
Anyway, I was eventually called and, having had £110!! practically dragged from my clothing, was given my key ring plus fob and the spare fob was returned.  Having been earlier informed that the Banger 0.9L is the only car in existence where it is impossible to override the engine immobilizer - or to detach it from the engine altogether - I was naturally anxious to establish that the new fob would work.  So I rushed off to see if it would.  No such luck dear!  The situation was exactly the same - eight attempts to turn the light off - before I could finally turn the engine on.  Well I can't begin to tell you how my heart sank!  I drove off to Outer Hamlet to give the matter some quiet thought in the church yard - dispiritedly clicking the useless buttons - before accepting that I would have to drive back to Swish.  Back at Swish, I was told that 'my man' had gone off on an an extended test drive of some other car, and might be gone for some while . . .  Gloomily rummaging in my bag for some sedatives or preferably a loaded pistol to do myself in with, I came across the 'spare' key fob that I had carelessly chucked into my bag upon receipt of the new item.  Turning this loose fob over in my hand, I found my eye resting  upon a brand new sticker with the engine code printed brightly upon it!  Guess what pet?  I had been using the old fob - still attached to the key ring - to get into the car!  Remarking to the young man on the other side of the desk that I might have made a slight miscalculation regarding which fob to use, I sloped off back to the car.  It worked pet, it worked!!
Pom-Pom sends his regards by the way and is asking for further news of your infiltration of the political group you mentioned the other day.  They all sound like a frightful shower I must say.  I hope you will be able to report back to your superiors in the Government?
Aunt Agatha

No comments:

Post a Comment