Monday, 14 May 2012

Evacuation at night is greatly preferable . . .

Perfect Retirement Housing Complex
Inner Hamlet

My Dear Ralph
I must say that I am feeling slightly more myself today pet.  I spent an excruciating night stretched out in a rictus of pain, toes curled up at the edges, but today I fancy the tooth might be deceased!  Apparently poor Dinkie (opposite) was evacuated in the night by ambulance transport.  Evacuation at night is greatly preferable to evacuation by day, dear, owing to the pressure to wave and smile - whilst cut down by a stroke or heart attack - to the ensemble of inmates gathered in the lounge to wave you off to No Return District Hospital, some 15 miles away.
I think we might have spotted the new employee from my vantage point at the apex of the building.  She was stubbing a fag end out on an outside drain and I fancy her hair was dyed a bright magenta pink!  What do these signs portend pet?
Meanwhile, on the Tree course, we spent a considerable portion of the day counting acorns under a 10% sector of oak tree.  I am absolutely no good at this kind of thing dear; quite apart from the fact that my talent for elementary mathematics is virtually zero, I also find myself continually pining for my next cup of coffee.  Do you know, we found thousands of these acorns, some of which seemed to be attached to frightful-looking execrations called 'galls.'  I must say that I haven't quite worked out exactly what a gall is.  I don't think we were too successful in scraping all the fruits from off of the turf; they seemed quite ground in by the thousands of students' boots which had walked over them in recent weeks.
Meanwhile, my chum Guthrie seems to be recovering from his my-kitchen-related episode of dysentery - and is proposing to visit my abode again!  You will be pleased to hear, pet, that I have excelled myself in my efforts on the hygiene and cleanliness front over the weekend.  One's shoes no longer stick to the kitchen linoleum and drip marks have quite vanished from the fronts of the kitchen cupboards! 
I just hope I can keep up this high level of enthusiasm, because I still have the oven and kitchen bin to go!
Have you any news dear?  I fancy when things go quiet that there is Something Going On!
Aunt Agatha

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