Perfect Retirement Housing Complex
Inner Hamlet
CORSETTSHIRE QY4 2PN
My Dear Ralph
I'm afraid that juicy snippets of one kind and another are somewhat limited today pet. I can only report that Child, who lives opposite Pom-Pom, seems to be limping about the hallways with a black eye and broken arm. She has told us that she was raped by a bouncer during one of her nocturnal excursions to somewhere exciting! I don't know whether the Perfect Retirement Housing Complex will shortly be featuring on the local news but, apparently, there is going to be a court case. Meanwhile, Cat Woman is stomping about scowling but fully dressed. Apparently she sailed through the lounge during 'coffee morning' the other day, clad in only her nightwear, and there was somewhat of a hue and cry.
Toothache is raging again dear, and it looks like I am going to have to resort to having one of my few remaining teeth amputated! Life is certainly cruel and I am not looking forward to a diet of gruel and stewed apple for my (few) remaining years. Meanwhile, I am fast becoming a Nurofen junkie and have been impressed by the speed at which this medication seems to eradicate pain. However will I be able to bear 'Life' without it?
How are you pet? Unlike Yours Truly, you maintain a magnificent silence in the face of adversity/ravishment by secret pleasures! Now which is it dear?
Yours
Aunt Agatha
I'm afraid that juicy snippets of one kind and another are somewhat limited today pet. I can only report that Child, who lives opposite Pom-Pom, seems to be limping about the hallways with a black eye and broken arm. She has told us that she was raped by a bouncer during one of her nocturnal excursions to somewhere exciting! I don't know whether the Perfect Retirement Housing Complex will shortly be featuring on the local news but, apparently, there is going to be a court case. Meanwhile, Cat Woman is stomping about scowling but fully dressed. Apparently she sailed through the lounge during 'coffee morning' the other day, clad in only her nightwear, and there was somewhat of a hue and cry.
Toothache is raging again dear, and it looks like I am going to have to resort to having one of my few remaining teeth amputated! Life is certainly cruel and I am not looking forward to a diet of gruel and stewed apple for my (few) remaining years. Meanwhile, I am fast becoming a Nurofen junkie and have been impressed by the speed at which this medication seems to eradicate pain. However will I be able to bear 'Life' without it?
How are you pet? Unlike Yours Truly, you maintain a magnificent silence in the face of adversity/ravishment by secret pleasures! Now which is it dear?
Yours
Aunt Agatha
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